Homer: Well, there’s not a bear in sight. The Bear Patrol is sure doing its job.
Lisa: That’s specious reasoning, Dad.
Homer: Thank you, sweetie.
Lisa: Dad, what if I were to tell you that this rock keeps away tigers.
Homer: Uh-huh, and how does it work?
Lisa: It doesn’t work. It’s just a stupid rock.
Homer: I see.
Lisa: But you don’t see any tigers around, do you?
Homer: Lisa, I’d like to buy your rock
Freshwater Bass Recipies
I practice catch and release when I fish but this reminds me of that shrimp scene in Forrest Gump.
1 (5 lb.) bass or equivalent
1 lg Onion, chopped
1 Bell pepper, chopped
1/2 Stick margarine
2 cn Tomato sauce
1 cn Whole tomatoes juice of 1 lemon
1 c Cooking wine
1/2 c Green onions and parsley dash Tabasco sauce salt, pepper, garlic powder to taste
Sprinkle fish with lemon juice and season well, ahead of time, preferably overnight. Wilt onions, and bell pepper in margarine. Add tomato sauce and whole tomatoes and cook over medium heat for 45 minutes in uncovered pot. Add 2 cups cold water and seasoning to taste along with dash of Tabasco. Cook for 25 minutes over medium heat. Add wine and pour mixture over fish you have placed in a baking dish. Bake in 325 degree oven for 40 minutes. Baste several times. Sprinkle with parsley and onion tops and serve, garnishing with slices of lemon. Serves 6.
1 cup corn meal
1 ziploc freezer bag
Combine salt, pepper (as much or as little as you like) flour, and corn meal in the ziploc bag. Shake well. Place fillets in a bowl full of milk. Let sit for 1 to 2 minutes. Place fillets one at a time in ziploc and shake well. Place 2 fillets in a frying pan with the vegetable oil, and fry until golden brown. Serve and enjoy.
Makes 4 servings.
Bass With Avocado Sauce
1 sm ripe avocado coarsely chopped
1/4 c skim milk
1 tb lime juice
1 clove garlic minced
1 ds hot sauce
2 tb lemon juice
1 tb light soy sauce
1 ts lemon rind grated
1 ts dijon mustard
16 oz bass fillets
1/3 c fine dry bread crumbs
1 vegetable cooking spray
Combine the first 5 ingredients in a blender; cover and process until smooth. Set mixture aside. Combine lemon juice and next 3 ingredients in a shallow dish, dip fillets in lemon juice mixture, and dredge in bread crumbs. Place on a baking sheet coated with cooking spray. Bake at 450oF for 7 minutes; turn fillets over, and bake an additional 7 minutes or until fish flakes easily when tested with a fork. Transfer fillets to a serving platter, and top with avocado sauce. Makes 4 servings.
Bass With Cucumber Sauce
1/4 ts salt, sugar, and wine vinegar
1 c sour cream (or 1 part yogurt and1 part sour cream)
2 tb minced fresh dill or (2 to 3) watercress leaves
6 bass fillets 6 to 8 ounces each poached as directed below
Neatly dicing the cucumber:
Peel the cucumber and halve it lengthwise; scoop out the seeds with a teaspoon. Cut the halves into quarters and the quarters into crosswise pieces 2 inches long. Finally cut the quarters into matchstick julienne, stack the julienne, and cut into dice.
Toss the cucumber in a bowl with the salt, sugar, and vinegar. Let stand 5 minutes or so, then fold in the sour cream. Season carefully to taste, and fold in the dill or watercress.
Cook fish directly in salted boiling water OR wrap tightly in greased heavy-duty aluminum foil with chopped onion, celery, salt and pepper; place in rapidly boiling water. Cover pan, return to boil, then reduce heat to simmer 5-7 minutes cooking time per cm of thickness (10 minutes per inch) for fresh fish and 10-12 minutes cooking time per cm of thickness (20 minutes per inch) for frozen fish. To poach smoked fillets, cover with cold milk flavored with butter, bay leaf, pepper; simmer.
-Use fresh or frozen fish
-Use 2ml of salt per L of water (1/4 tsp per quart) for fish
To serve hot:
Remove and drain the fillets; arrange on hot plates or a platter. Either decorate with sprigs of fresh dill or parsley and pass the sauce separately, or spoon the cucumber sauce decoratively over the fish.
To serve cold:
Let the fish remain in its poaching liquid at least 20 minutes, to pick up flavor. Remove, drain, and chill. Serve on a bed of greens, and decorate with the sauce.
Makes 6 servings.
Ahead-of-time note: May be completed hours in advance; cover and
Bass ‘N’ Beer
6 fillets bass (1/2 to 3/4 thick)
1/4 ts pepper
1/4 c chopped onion
1/4 c butter
2 tb all-purpose flour
2 c beer
1 tb brown sugar
2 whole cloves
1 tb lemon juice
Sprinkle fish fillets with 1 teaspoon salt, the pepper, and some paprika. In a skillet, cook onion in butter till tender. Stir in flour; cook and stir till brown. Gradually stir in the beer. Cook and stir till the mixture bubbles. Stir in the sugar and cloves. Add fish fillets to sauce. Cover and cook for 10 to 15 minutes over low heat till fish flakes with a fork. Remove fish to a platter. Stir lemon juice into sauce in the skillet. Serve sauce over fish with rice, if desired. Makes 6 servings.
2 lbs. bass (cooked)
1 lb. hash browns (thawed)
1/2 cup green pepper (chopped)
1/2 onion (chopped)
1/2 lb. bacon (cooked, crumbled) saving grease
Salt and pepper to taste
Take oil from bacon, put into sauce pan. Sautee onion and green pepper. Set aside.
Add hash browns, fry till slightly browned. Add lemon pepper, chili powder, garlic powder, salt and pepper, and fish.
Tons more at Bass on Hook.com